


Bad Habits

by Youngbloodrage



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Gen, Pre-Canon, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-01-20 11:08:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1508297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youngbloodrage/pseuds/Youngbloodrage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester's father smoked.<br/>And this wasn't the "smoke a cigar every once in a while" kind of smoking. No, this was not a casual habit; John Winchester smoked like he would die if he didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Habits

Dean Winchester's father smoked.  
And this wasn't the "smoke a cigar every once in a while" kind of smoking. No, this was not a casual habit; John Winchester smoked like he would die if he didn't.

There would be days when he would run out for a pack of cigarettes only to have to go back to the store in two hours because he ran out. There would be days Dean couldn't see his brother in the Impala the smoke was so thick.  
Even when John wasn't smoking, Dean was aware of it. It only took a few hours for everything in their room in the motel of the week to start to smell like smoke. Everything John Winchester came within a five-foot radius reeked of cigarettes, including his sons. Once, when Sam was in the fourth grade, he came home from school with a note in his hands that read:

_"Mr.Winchester,_   
_We have fair reason to believe your son, Samuel, has been smoking before and after school. There have been complaints from teachers and students both that the smell of cigarette smoke is overwhelming around him and empty packages have been found at the bottom of his school backpack.(The Winchesters only had two packs. John would take Sam's school bag when he left for a long hunt)_   
_We will leave the discipline to you, as his legal guardian and father.  
-Principal Wilhem"_

Sam, of course, gave the note to Dean. There would have been no point in giving it to their father.  
Dean crumpled the note and tossed it into the nearest storm drain. He told Sam to forget it, but he always made sure he washed Sam's clothes as close as possible to the time they left for school (he never slept much anyway) and that Sam showered long enough.  
He never told his dad about the note. Nothing good would have come of it. John would have either, one, got angry at the principal for bothering about it, and consequently become angry at Dean for bothering him about it. Or, two, he would just become furious at Dean for not caring for Sam better. 

Dean once asked Ellen why his father smoked so much.  
She answered, not pausing wiping the bar to reply "You're too young to understand. Your father's been carrying some things for far too long. He smokes too much and drinks too often because he can't let his vices go. You get these habits as you get older, you indulge in 'em" Ellen's deep drawl had been a familiar comfort to Dean for years, but these words unsettled him more than anything.  
Because he knew.  


He knew that Ellen would drink sometimes, but when she did it was long after she had put Jo to bed. Her vices didn't affect her child. In the morning, she would brush her teeth and take a long shower, washing the smell of gin and tobacco away. With wet hair and a pounding headache she would wake Jo up and get her ready for school. She always kissed her forehead and held her close before she left.  
And when Ellen needed to mourn her dead spouse, she took photos out of the snuff box she kept under her bed and wept.  


Ellen did not spend her entire life chasing after the monster that caused her spouse's death. If she did, she'd be hunting John Winchester.  
Dean knew Ellen was stronger than John Winchester.  


Dean also knew he was just as weak as his father.  


He was fifteen. John was on a hunt, he had been gone for three days, much longer than he had promised. Sam had fallen asleep hours ago, somewhere around eleven-thirty, and Sam never woke up once he fell asleep. Dean didn't even bother that night. It was Friday and he couldn't stop thinking about his demons.  
Lucky for him, John had left a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the motel's bathroom counter. If John had asked, he would lie and say he threw it out. John might've hit him, but a black eye was better than him knowing.  


Dean sat in the parking lot and drank until he vomited. When the contents of his stomach were gone, he washed his mouth out with the whiskey to get rid of the bile taste. He was done. For that night.  


When John Winchester found his bottle of whiskey was gone, he hit his son.  


Dean was used to it.  


He went to school that Monday with a black eye and a hangover. People looked at him funny. He didn’t mind, they always had, always would.  
It was the first time Dean Winchester gave in to temptation, but it would not be the last.  


The next time he drank, the next time he gave in, was after his father had gotten so drunk, he obtained a strange sobriety. He sat close to Dean, put his hand on his shoulder, and said, “You have your mother’s smile”  
Dean stole his father’s whiskey as soon as he had the chance. He vomited within the hour. He felt nauseous before he ever started to drink. This time, however, vomiting didn’t stop him.  


Dean may have had his mother's smile, but he had his father's vices. 


End file.
